Feeling Fat? Trust me, we’ve all been there. Whether it’s after a big meal, or it’s because your tight pants are feeling a little too small, you’re not alone.
It’s easy to feel like you’re isolated, or different, or anything less than what you hope to be. Especially when you try to talk to someone about it, and they look at you as if you’re exaggerating.
Common responses can be-
“Just eat less.”
“Well, you have put on a few pounds-don’t worry! I still love you.”
“Stop being so vain.”
“Well, It’s on the inside that matters right?”
Even though these comments may be derived from love, they can often come across differently then the person meant, and open up a whole new whirlpool of thoughts in your head. These seemingly harmless comments can be implemented in your head-even if it’s not happening to you and weigh on your mind everyday you look down. Second guessing your looks, insecurities blooming fresh and bitter on your tongue. Listening to someone else be shamed, or embarrassed, or mocked over a number that appears on your scale can have you thinking- “Will this be me next? I’d better make sure it’s not.”
Before you know it, after every meal you swallow, you’ll pace with anxiety around the room, feeling ashamed because you “couldn’t control” yourself-or maybe that’s just me. But you shouldn’t have to control yourself because you’re scared of gaining weight. Nor should you have to tell yourself.. “Food will never taste as good as skinny feels.”...“A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.”...“The pain in my stomach is my fat being eaten away.”
No.
One of the worst moments in my life is watching my ten year old cousin step onto a scale at a doctors office, and gape at the number that appeared. She turned to me with big wide eyes and asked if I wouldn’t tell her mother. When I asked why, she said “I don’t want her to yell at me for being fat.”
Anonymous student: At seven years old, once I ate too much and barfed. When I came out, I saw my mom sitting on the bed with a somber look on her face. She motioned for me to sit next to her on the bed. She swiped through pictures of her side of the family, these lovely, skinny, beautiful doctors, models, even Miss Asia. At first, I didn’t understand what she was trying to say. Then, she showed me pictures of my dad’s side of the family, and I still was amiss. They looked happy, they looked content with their families and lives. To her, they were fatter, she said-did I want to be like them? Or did I want to be like her side, the beautiful bright shining stars. From then on, she told me to watch what I eat. Now, she yells at me for not wanting to eat, and calls me vain, when she planted these ideas in my head at 7? It was scarring, and damaging, even if it’s not what it was she meant it as.
What even is fat in today's society? A girl who’s barely experienced puberty is already in tears because of it. But fat isn’t a description of who you are as a human being. It’s a word used to scare girls into conforming to society's standards. When we call ourselves fat, we are preventing ourselves from addressing what we really feel-but fat is a fear.
We should stop to assess what we are really feeling. Are we feeling anxious about the future? Are your clothes too tight? Feelings are feelings, thoughts are thoughts, but your body is not the problem.
To be honest, I would have never thought to try to write an empowering article if it wasn’t for the lack of compassion online. Today, I felt insecure about my body. I felt upset and devastated that I wasn’t as skinny as I used to be-seeking advice, I looked up the words I. Am. Fat.
Instead of positive content, I saw perfectly proportioned bodies giving me “instant fat removal workouts” or “cleansing smoothies.” All I felt was more insecure. I want to help other girls, because I know it’s not just me. Do you know how many lives E.D take per year? “Anorexia has the highest case mortality rate and second-highest crude mortality rate of any mental illness.” Yet, we ignore so many people's cries for help. No more. Don’t suffer in silence. If you want to just splurge all your feelings, just to talk to someone for the sake of it, you can fill out this google form. Just to know someone is on the other line, always listening to you.
You’re not alone.